Muddy Puddle

you look in my eyes and you say,
love suits you
love? love suits me?
more like blind naivety
you ask, are you pushing
pushing away from us?
yes, absolutely yes I am
pulling away
distance growing
makes it less painful
betrayal less available
my skin is leather
the rain is thundering down
and I’m standing barefoot
in a puddle
nothing but a tank top covering my torso
nothing but grey skies above me
or in my soul
moist air
my face is a mask
look closely
you can’t see the difference
tears or rain?
nature or a broken heart?
I’m not telling
falling to my knees,
mud and a muddy puddle
soaking me
I want to absorb it all
let the mud cover me
and the rain (tears?) wash me away
how could I mean so little?
foolish fucking heart
go! leave!
love?! please.
clearly, I’m fucked

tara caribou | ©2019

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