An Untitled Poem to Start Out September, Apparently

may sleep come soon
in this great dark chasm of emptiness
together, alone
dimly aware of the spaces between us
whispers become braying
an ass with that same old song
I wish I could say: this too shall pass
instead I join in, a melody of my own
same lips though
even in the joining, I despise myself
my weakness
my neediness
my

loneliness

the chasm widens
but instead of peace
my scratchy eyelids widen
still wide awake
still

alone

same ass’s song
different night

and I keep laying on “my side”
though
utterly pointless
in my restless daze
my arm, of its own purpose,
snakes and slithers
finds cold
and (being cold-blooded)
winds back to the warmth of my breast

and the loneliness ascends
while my mind descends
and, alone on a moon-less night,
I howl, I bray
I refuse to acknowledge the tears
and I begin a numbers ritual
something with patterns, I’m sure
self-soothing

but still lonely


tara caribou | ©️ 2025

15 Comments on “An Untitled Poem to Start Out September, Apparently

  1. There’s no way, to, stop the distance, the gap from, widening, until we “fix” our selves, up, but, mostly, people keeps on, looking outside the self, and, see the, problems, so the problems continue to get, bigger, and, bigger.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Pingback: Tara Caribou – no title for disconnection – cabbagesandkings524

      • I wish there was an acknowledgement on these comments other than “Liked”, other feelings. We all have broken places. Some heal better than others. You’ve made some big changes lately, and even the most desired changes can have backlash. I’ve had several relationships with communication/connection problems or malfunctions of that order, not the same, but as severe as in this poem, as confusing. It sucks. I don’t have any specific advice to offer, but a friend’s caring and hope of healing, I can send.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Thank you for your very kind response. The last, oh five weeks or so, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on myself and just a lot of things around me. There are times I feel as if I’m making forward progress (and I am!) but other times where I seem to be right back where I was. And there are these moments… I think maybe something inside me is broken. And there’s always that hope that maybe, just maybe, that brokenness can be overlooked, or forgiven, or… something. The desire for acceptance is strong.

          Liked by 1 person

        • Acceptance is one of our most basic desires, a genuine need, to be accepted broken parts and all. Know that here, you are accepted that way, my friend.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Your words always find the sore spot and in doing so bring a little comfort. You’re not broken, you’re you, and sometimes just being ourselves feels like the hardest thing in the universe.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Definitely. And some days (or nights) are harder than others. Sometimes I feel okay in my skin, with who I am. And sometimes… well, I feel so broken and there’s no hope for me.

      It’s great to see your name pop up in my comments again! I hope you are well.

      Like

David J Bauman

Host of the In Three Poems Podcast

MATTLR.COM

3AM Questions that cut back

ravensweald

wode natterings

thiskeptache

undone in spectacle

Prog2Goal

A weight loss journey

Driftwood Imagery

Photography and Visual Art by Adam Shurte

A Thought In A Billion

Our thoughts define us, so let's focus on a few.

Jeffrey S. Markovitz

Our lives are the words of this book

Letters For Anna

Our story made the last page of the newspaper. Witnesses said they'd seen a "madwoman with two paint-bombs suddenly appear."

Christopher Hoggins Artist

Art, random musings and the occasional inflammatory viewpoint of autistic artist Christopher Hoggins