Spit mixed with dirt – Muddy words flow
the shame drips like tar
slow and methodical
never fully releasing its grip
I am coated and covered
if I open my lips
it reveals itself within
my eyes are covered
my face downcast
in the dark I attempt to hide
turning off lights
refusing eye contact
hunching my shoulders
turning away
helpless, the shame covers me
hurting, the shame is familiar
lonely, the shame is a liar
unable to break away (so far)
the shame is me
How to break free of something so ingrained. This evening, I read how to be released from this overwhelming and debilitating shame. Practice compassion on oneself. Just reading that sentence makes me cry. I have no compassion for myself. Compassion and mercy for others? Yes. For myself? Absolutely not. How to have compassion for someone you despise?
I’m supposed to find the root of my inherent shame. I haven’t figured that out yet. I mean, I know I have worth to a few others. But I don’t see my worth to myself. Why should that even matter?? But it does somehow. My friend Candice told me once, I need to be my own friend and champion. I haven’t figured out that part either.
I’m scared.
I guess perhaps for right now, for today, I will say, “This is hard but I am still worthy of love.”
tara caribou | ©️2026
Host of the In Three Poems Podcast
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My heart hurts to read such pain, but that’s OK, for to care for a friend in pain is, for lack of some better word, a holy thing. I say that shame is a liar. You have poured your self and soul out on pages for all to see, and we see nothing to be ashamed of. Oh yes, that lying shame will counter with suggestions of secrets unspecified, adding to the lies. Know that you are loved, valued, respected, and many are grateful that you are in our world. May it be so that you find victory over that deceiver, shame.
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Thank you. Yes, that is my hope too. I will keep reminding myself it is indeed a liar.
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Just holler when you need a reminder. <3
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