Spit mixed with dirt – Muddy words flow
My friend Michael nominated me last month and asked all sorts of interesting questions of his nominees. I’m sorry to report that I’m too boring to have answers for all eleven of his Q’s, but I did my best.
I hope you enjoyed this installment of Q-and-A. More questions? Ask in the comments!
Love and light to you, friends. ~tara
The dread of night
where I lay alone in the dark
and the abyss presses in
and small sounds
become large
and my loneliness
becomes unbearable
and there’s no reprieve.
Only me.
In my mind it’s all
pine needles
dampness
and a gentle sobbing in the distance
And the dread deepens.
tara caribou | ©️2026
with your love surrounding me
soft, gentle, cloudlike
a fulfillment previously unknown
it was a gentle in-filling
this dawning comprehension
the fullness of love
together: complete, whole
apart: missing pieces of myself, of you
I still don’t fully understand it
me and you
but I do know, in you, I am at peace
the world’s troubles don’t disappear
but they become faded,
smudges of reality
the real world is me resting in your arms
the real world is gazing into your eyes
the real world is your heartbeat in my ear
the real world is you
tara caribou | ©️ 2026
windswept
I look within
melt snow on my skin
ready for new life
can love truly heal all wounds and hurts
tara caribou | ©️2026 photo by me
the shame drips like tar
slow and methodical
never fully releasing its grip
I am coated and covered
if I open my lips
it reveals itself within
my eyes are covered
my face downcast
in the dark I attempt to hide
turning off lights
refusing eye contact
hunching my shoulders
turning away
helpless, the shame covers me
hurting, the shame is familiar
lonely, the shame is a liar
unable to break away (so far)
the shame is me
How to break free of something so ingrained. This evening, I read how to be released from this overwhelming and debilitating shame. Practice compassion on oneself. Just reading that sentence makes me cry. I have no compassion for myself. Compassion and mercy for others? Yes. For myself? Absolutely not. How to have compassion for someone you despise?
I’m supposed to find the root of my inherent shame. I haven’t figured that out yet. I mean, I know I have worth to a few others. But I don’t see my worth to myself. Why should that even matter?? But it does somehow. My friend Candice told me once, I need to be my own friend and champion. I haven’t figured out that part either.
I’m scared.
I guess perhaps for right now, for today, I will say, “This is hard but I am still worthy of love.”
tara caribou | ©️2026
stripped of my carefully crafted cloak
my mask lifted and tossed aside
I’m not prepared
in this moment
I am
e x p o s e d
this nakedness
my bare soul
what will you think
how will you respond
I am left (now) with
nothing to hide behind or
defend myself with
the exposure
chills me
from within
and now
with no escape
my shaking hands cover my head
I close my eyes and lift my face
be gentle, I pray
please, with mercy, be gentle
tara caribou | ©️2025
you reach deep
wanting to feel good
wanting to feel
something
you bury yourself
in desire
in speculation and metaphysics
in coming times
in what once was
in a grief never formed
and because of this
you lasso others
without intending to
without realizing it
and they, too, become the reach
the reach for
for
for something more
and I, I hold on
confused and
unable to form words
willing thoughts from
my great void
and
what has become
of the idea
of us
tara caribou | ©️2025
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