Book Review – Crawl Cram Grind Fail by Bill Gillard

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I read this book on my e-reader and again as a paperback. This is an unsolicited review.

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Where to start? Well, I had not heard of this author until one of the publishers I follow (Potters Grove Press) advertised this new book and reading the “about” really drew me in and intrigued me. I was NOT disappointed! Not in the least. In fact, this is definitely one of my top five favorite reads this year.

The collection of short stories is dark, humorous, gritty, weird, unexpected, and oddly satisfying. The title is PERFECT. I felt like every single story encapsulated at least one of the words: Crawl, Cram, Grind, or Fail… and many times, more than one. This was a delightful and unexpected read. I looked forward to each time I got to sit down and read a story or two. It was that good.

My absolute favorite story of the bunch was the far-future, sarcastically funny tale: “The Moose Depart” which *almost* reminded me of Douglas Adams’ style of writing only (dare I say it) better. Honestly, Mr. Gillard could write a full-length novel in this world and I’d be one happy reader. But even taken at its written length, I still thoroughly enjoyed myself and told anyone (adult or child) near at hand the amazingly good story I’d just read.

In all fairness, there wasn’t a story included which I didn’t like. Every single one: excellent. But if you’re looking for “feel-good happy endings”… um, no. This isn’t it. That’s not to say the book is a downer. It’s not that either. For me, this was high-caliber short story writing as short stories SHOULD be. Reminiscent of my other favorite short story writers such as River Dixon, Philip K Dick, and Robert Birkhofer who all write super intelligent, deep stories that make you think long afterward. The kind that stick with you. The kind where they don’t have to explain every little detail or wrap it up at the end, but where you get to imagine a hundred different endings yourself. And THAT, to me, is the GOOD short story author. It gets in your bones.

I give this one 5/5 stars. Excellent length, awesome title, eye-catching cover, great editing, amazing storytelling. It just doesn’t get better than this. It really doesn’t. Highly highly recommended to those who enjoy short stories with a dark (but not disgusting) overtone.

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be a good writer: read.
~tara caribou

A FINAL NOTE ON REVIEWS: it may seem that I am harsh on many writers for their editing, formatting, grammar, punctuation, etc. I do so unapologetically. First, because this is a review not a popularity contest. Second, because honest criticism should help us grow as artists.

The fact of the matter is, these things MATTER. A mathematician must use his tools and use them correctly to be an effective mathematician. A surgeon cannot simply say, “I know I can’t sew the wound closed but at least I could remove the appendix or whatever that thing is called.” Same with writers. We can’t claim to be writers yet refuse to use proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation. We can’t claim to be a photographer just because we know how to push the button on the camera (or phone). There’s an art to it.

So while I may appreciate the artist as a person and their words, I believe that it does us all a disservice to claim that lower quality editing is okay, whether in word, deed, or omission of criticism. Instead: believe in yourself! Believe in the power of your words! Put the effort into being the very best you can be. Ask for help. Grow and learn.